The Gum Grandma

When I was about eleven years old, I remember my dad’s cousin stopping in to visit. Unknowingly, “Grandma” Sally had started a very innocent routine which involved asking my little brother if he would like a piece of gum. Once five year-old David caught on, Sally could barely get her foot in the door before being hounded by him to dig in her purse for gum. There was no “Hi, Sally”, just “I want some gum.” My mother was totally red-faced, wishing she could find a corner to hide in. I realize now that although the feeding of this sweet tooth addiction threw all the knowledge of the manners my parents had taught him right out the window, Sally probably didn’t mind a bit.

My granddaughter, Chrissy, went through a tough time when she was four, not wanting to leave my house when Mom or Dad was ready. This left Mom and Dad, who already had frayed nerves at the end of a long day at work, with little patience for a screaming child. When her Dad threatened to “ground her from coming to Grandmas”, I knew that I would have to quickly think of Plan B. Because I knew for sure that it must be almost impossible to be grounded from visiting your grandma. Or it should be.

I decided to suggest to her parents that instead of punishing her for bad behavior, we reward Chrissy for good behavior. Her mom’s job was to give Chrissy a call on the phone when she was ready to leave work. This was Chrissy’s cue to put her toys away and get her shoes on in anticipation of Mom’s arrival. Chrissy would then be given a sticker to put on the calendar and rewarded with a piece of gum for following Plan B. This was an instant hit! I don’t think Chrissy ever ended up leaving my house without a piece of gum. We don’t use Plan B anymore, because Chrissy knows that “when it’s time to go – it’s time to go.”

I never thought I would someday be the Gum Grandma. But both of my granddaughters frequently raid my purse for gum. And neither of them has ever been grounded by their Dad from coming to Grandma’s house. Plan B. It worked very well.